Funny Gifts for a History Teacher
The best gift for a history teacher is a shirt that knows its history. Honeyman Tees shows presidents, founders, philosophers, kings and scientists as cute chibi storybook-watercolor characters with a speech-bubble joke, and every design comes with the real story behind the joke, so the humor teaches something. These shirts suit history teachers, social studies teachers, civics teachers and anyone who loves American or world history. Each shirt is printed to order, with production taking 3-10 days, and ships free to US addresses. That makes it an easy pick for teacher appreciation, birthdays and end-of-year thank-yous. Start with the favorites below.
George Washington T-shirt
“I didn't cross a freezing river for this”
On Christmas night 1776, George Washington led his army across the icy Delaware River and surprised the enemy at Trenton the next morning.
Abraham Lincoln T-shirt
“This meeting is taking 4 score and 7 years”
Abraham Lincoln opened his 1863 Gettysburg Address with "Four score and seven years ago." A score is 20, so that's 87 years, counted back to 1776.
Isaac Newton T-shirt
“Sure, the apple hit me. You're welcome, physics.”
Isaac Newton said in his old age that watching an apple fall helped set him thinking about gravity, and in 1687 he published his laws of motion and universal gravitation.
Nikola Tesla T-shirt
“I had the current idea first.”
In the late 1880s, Nikola Tesla's alternating current (AC) system competed with direct current (DC) in the so-called War of the Currents, and AC went on to power the world.
Galileo T-shirt
“Told you so. Sincerely, the Earth.”
Galileo used his telescope to support the idea that the Earth moves around the Sun, and he was put on trial for it in 1633.
Ben Franklin T-shirt
“Kite. Lightning storm. What's your excuse?”
Benjamin Franklin's famous kite experiment, described in 1752, showed that lightning is a form of electricity.
Marie Curie T-shirt
“Radiating main character energy.”
Marie Curie discovered the elements polonium and radium, and she was the first person to win two Nobel Prizes, in physics in 1903 and chemistry in 1911.
Charles Darwin T-shirt
“I evolved past this meeting.”
Charles Darwin studied finches and other animals on the Galapagos Islands in 1835, and in 1859 he published his theory of evolution by natural selection.
Betsy Ross T-shirt
“Fifty stars? I only had time for thirteen.”
Tradition credits Betsy Ross, a Philadelphia upholsterer, with sewing the first American flag, with thirteen stars for the thirteen colonies.
Paul Revere T-shirt
“I said they were coming. Nobody listens.”
On the night of April 18, 1775, Paul Revere rode out from Boston to warn that British troops were on the march.
Teddy Roosevelt T-shirt
“Step into the arena.”
In a famous 1910 speech in Paris, Theodore Roosevelt said the credit belongs to "the man who is actually in the arena."
Thomas Jefferson T-shirt
“I wrote the Declaration. You can't email?”
Thomas Jefferson wrote the first draft of the Declaration of Independence in June 1776, and Congress adopted it on July 4.
John Adams T-shirt
“Second president. Still first in grumpiness.”
John Adams served as the second president of the United States, and even his friends knew him for his blunt manner and his temper.
Gregor Mendel T-shirt
“It's not drama. It's genetics.”
Gregor Mendel was a friar who grew thousands of pea plants in his monastery garden in Brno between 1856 and 1863. He published the basic rules of inheritance in 1866, and his work was not widely recognized until the early 1900s.
Nicolaus Copernicus T-shirt
“Not everything revolves around you. Literally.”
In 1543 Nicolaus Copernicus published his case that the Earth and the other planets travel around the Sun, not the other way around.
Louis Pasteur T-shirt
“Wash your hands. I'm begging you.”
Louis Pasteur showed in the 1860s that germs cause spoilage and disease, work that helped convince doctors to clean their hands and their tools.
Marco Polo T-shirt
“Yes, I've heard the pool joke.”
Marco Polo was a Venetian merchant who left Venice in 1271 with his father and uncle, reached the court of Kublai Khan in China after about three years, and returned to Venice in 1295. Around 1298, held prisoner in Genoa, he reportedly told his stories to a fellow prisoner, the romance writer Rustichello da Pisa, who wrote them down. The result, The Travels of Marco Polo, was copied by hand across Europe for centuries. The swimming-pool game that borrowed his name came much, much later.
Elizabeth I T-shirt
“Single, ruling, and thriving.”
Elizabeth I ruled England from 1558 to 1603 and never married, and she was known as the Virgin Queen.
King Tutankhamun T-shirt
“Mummy says I'm still the king.”
Tutankhamun became pharaoh of Egypt as a boy of about nine, and his nearly intact tomb, found in 1922, made him the most famous pharaoh of all.
Alexander the Great T-shirt
“Conquered the world by 30. You?”
By the time he was 30, Alexander the Great had built an empire stretching from Greece to northwestern India.
Inventor of the Light Bulb T-shirt
“I lit the room. You're welcome.”
In 1879 the inventor's team developed a practical, long-lasting electric light bulb at his lab in Menlo Park, New Jersey.
Cleopatra T-shirt
“Queen of the Nile. Not your nonsense.”
Cleopatra VII was the last active ruler of Ptolemaic Egypt, and ancient writers said she could speak many languages.
Ada Lovelace T-shirt
“I wrote code before computers. Flex.”
In 1843 Ada Lovelace published notes on a mechanical computer that was designed but never built, including a step-by-step method for it to calculate numbers. It is often called the first computer program.
Julius Caesar T-shirt
“Beware the Ides of Monday.”
Julius Caesar was assassinated on the Ides of March, March 15, in 44 BC, and the ancient historians say a seer had warned him to beware that day.
Leif Erikson T-shirt
“Got here first. Didn't make a fuss.”
Around the year 1000, the Norse explorer Leif Erikson reached North America, nearly 500 years before Columbus.
Napoleon Bonaparte T-shirt
“Small emperor. Big plans.”
Napoleon Bonaparte was about average height for his time. The idea that he was tiny comes partly from the difference between French and English inches and partly from British cartoons.
Leonardo da Vinci T-shirt
“Sorry, can't talk. Inventing the next 500 years.”
Leonardo da Vinci filled thousands of notebook pages with designs for flying machines, diving gear and other inventions, centuries ahead of his time.
Archimedes T-shirt
“Eureka! Also, I need a towel.”
Legend says Archimedes worked out how to measure volume while stepping into his bath, then ran through the streets of Syracuse shouting "Eureka!" without stopping to dress.
Hippocrates T-shirt
“First, do no harm. Second, coffee.”
Hippocrates, the ancient Greek physician, is called the father of medicine. The phrase "first, do no harm" is often linked to his teaching, although those exact words aren't in the Hippocratic Oath.
Joan of Arc T-shirt
“Teen girl. Saved France. Your move.”
Joan of Arc was about 17 when she helped lead the French army to lift the siege of Orleans in 1429.
Thanksgiving Guest T-shirt
“Came for freedom. Stayed for pie.”
In autumn 1621, English settlers at Plymouth and the Wampanoag people shared a three-day harvest feast that is remembered today as the first Thanksgiving.
Uncle Sam T-shirt
“I want YOU... to finish your homework.”
The name Uncle Sam is linked to Samuel Wilson, a meat packer in Troy, New York, who supplied the Army during the War of 1812. The famous pointing "I want YOU" recruiting poster came later, in 1917.
Socrates T-shirt
“I have questions. So many questions.”
Socrates taught by asking question after question, a method still used in classrooms and law schools today, and he never wrote any of it down himself.
Plato T-shirt
“Out of the cave. Into the snacks.”
In Plato's Allegory of the Cave, prisoners who have only ever seen shadows on a wall are led out into the real world for the first time.
Aristotle T-shirt
“Moderation in all things. Except snacks.”
Aristotle taught that a good life lies in the golden mean, the sensible middle point between too much and too little.
Diogenes T-shirt
“Lantern's on. Still no honest man.”
Ancient writers say Diogenes walked through Athens in broad daylight carrying a lamp, claiming he was searching for a truly good person.
Pythagoras T-shirt
“It all adds up. Squared, of course.”
The Pythagorean theorem says that in a right triangle, the squares of the two shorter sides add up to the square of the longest side: a squared plus b squared equals c squared.
Heraclitus T-shirt
“Same river? Never met her.”
Heraclitus taught that everything is always changing, and he is remembered for the saying that you can't step into the same river twice.
Epicurus T-shirt
“Small joys. Mostly snacks. Some naps.”
Epicurus taught that a good life comes from modest joys, friendship and peace of mind, and his school met in a garden in Athens.
Hypatia T-shirt
“Math, stars, philosophy. Pick a lane? No.”
Hypatia of Alexandria, who died in 415, taught mathematics, astronomy and philosophy, and she was one of the most respected teachers of her city.
Marcus Aurelius T-shirt
“Emperor by day. Journaling by night.”
The Roman ruler Marcus Aurelius kept a private journal of thoughts to himself, often written while on military campaigns. Today it's known as his Meditations.
Seneca T-shirt
“Life isn't short. Meetings are long.”
The Roman philosopher Seneca wrote that life isn't short at all; we just waste so much of it.
Epictetus T-shirt
“Not in my control. Not my concern.”
Epictetus, born into slavery, became a great teacher of philosophy. He taught that we should focus on what is in our control and let go of what isn't.
Marie Antoinette T-shirt
“Never said it. Still want cake.”
Historians agree that Marie Antoinette almost certainly never said the famous line about cake. A similar line appears in a book Rousseau wrote when she was still a child.
Sun Tzu T-shirt
“Know your enemy. Mine is Monday.”
The ancient Chinese strategy classic credited to Sun Tzu teaches that if you know your enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles.
Florence Nightingale T-shirt
“Night shift? I brought my own lamp.”
During the Crimean War, Florence Nightingale made night rounds of the hospital wards at Scutari carrying a lamp, comforting soldiers in the dark.
King Henry VIII T-shirt
“Married six times. Still a romantic.”
Henry VIII married six times between 1509 and 1543, and schoolchildren still learn a little rhyme to remember what became of each of his wives.
Susan B. Anthony T-shirt
“Arrested for voting, 1872. Worth it.”
On November 5, 1872, Susan B. Anthony cast a ballot in Rochester, New York, at a time when women were not allowed to vote. She was arrested, convicted at a trial in June 1873 and fined $100, and she never paid it. She kept working for women's right to vote for the rest of her life, and the 19th Amendment, ratified in 1920, is often called the Susan B. Anthony Amendment.
Frederick Douglass T-shirt
“Learned to read. Then wrote three autobiographies.”
Frederick Douglass was born into slavery and learned to read when it was forbidden. After he escaped to freedom in 1838, he told his own story in three autobiographies.
Vincent van Gogh T-shirt
“Theo, send more paint money, please.”
Vincent van Gogh's younger brother Theo, an art dealer in Paris, supported him with money and paint supplies for years. Hundreds of Vincent's letters to Theo survive, and plenty of them mention paint.
Claude Monet T-shirt
“Dug a whole pond just to paint it.”
In 1893 Claude Monet bought land next to his home in Normandy and had a garden pond dug there. He then spent his last decades painting it, in around 250 canvases.
Gustav Klimt T-shirt
“Smock on. Cats in charge. Masterpiece pending.”
Gustav Klimt usually worked in a long, loose painter's smock, and visitors to his Vienna studio remembered the cats that wandered through it while he painted.
Winston Churchill T-shirt
“Hobbies: bricklaying, painting, and very long naps.”
Winston Churchill relaxed by laying bricks and painting at his country home, Chartwell, and he kept up his habit of an afternoon nap even during the war.
Katsushika Hokusai T-shirt
“Ninety-three moves. Easier than cleaning the studio.”
Katsushika Hokusai is said to have moved house about 93 times in his long life, often, the story goes, rather than tidy up a cluttered studio.
Alphonse Mucha T-shirt
“Designed one poster. Paris lost its mind.”
Alphonse Mucha's 1895 theater poster for a Paris play made him famous almost overnight, and Parisians were said to peel copies off the walls to take home.
Alexander Hamilton T-shirt
“Wrote 51 essays. You skipped the reading.”
Alexander Hamilton wrote 51 of the 85 Federalist essays that argued for ratifying the U.S. Constitution.
James Madison T-shirt
“Five foot four. Wrote the whole Constitution.”
James Madison, about five feet four inches tall, is called the Father of the Constitution for his leading role in drafting it.
Abigail Adams T-shirt
“Remember the ladies. Still waiting, John.”
In a 1776 letter, Abigail Adams asked her husband John and the new Congress to "remember the ladies."
Martha Washington T-shirt
“First First Lady. No pressure.”
As the wife of the first president, Martha Washington hosted weekly receptions and set the pattern for every president's wife who came after her, long before the role had any title.
John Quincy Adams T-shirt
“Morning swim in the Potomac. Presidential perks.”
John Quincy Adams liked to start his days with an early morning swim in the Potomac River while he was president.
James Monroe T-shirt
“Hands off my hemisphere, please.”
In 1823 President James Monroe told the European powers to stay out of the Americas, a policy that shaped U.S. foreign relations for generations.
Marquis de Lafayette T-shirt
“Hero of two worlds. Fluent in sass.”
The Marquis de Lafayette joined the American Revolution at 19 and became known as the Hero of the Two Worlds for fighting for liberty in both America and France.
Henry Knox T-shirt
“Dragged sixty tons of cannons. Through snow.”
In the winter of 1775-76, Henry Knox hauled about 60 tons of cannons from Fort Ticonderoga to Boston, much of the way on sleds over snow and ice.
Ulysses S. Grant T-shirt
“Unconditional surrender. Of the last cookie.”
In 1862 Ulysses S. Grant demanded "unconditional and immediate surrender" at Fort Donelson, and people began saying his initials stood for Unconditional Surrender.
William Howard Taft T-shirt
“I'd rather be a judge. Seriously.”
William Howard Taft is the only person who served as both president and Chief Justice of the United States, and the Court was the job he had always wanted most.
Aaron Burr T-shirt
“Lost an election. Won a duel.”
In 1804, the same year he lost the race for governor of New York, Vice President Aaron Burr fatally wounded Alexander Hamilton in a duel.
Thomas Paine T-shirt
“Wrote a pamphlet. Started a country.”
Thomas Paine's 1776 pamphlet, published in January of that year, spread through the colonies within months and helped convince Americans to declare independence.
John Hancock T-shirt
“Sign big. The king needs glasses.”
The Continental Congress adopted the Declaration of Independence on July 4, 1776. The president of the Congress signed the parchment copy first, on August 2, 1776, with a bold, oversized signature. A popular legend says he wrote it that big so King George III could read it without his spectacles, but historians have found no evidence for the tale.
Thomas Paine (The American Crisis) T-shirt
“Common sense. Uncommon deadline.”
In December 1776 Thomas Paine published the first of his American Crisis essays, which begins "These are the times that try men's souls," and Washington had it read to his troops.
Sarah Josepha Hale T-shirt
“I lobbied five presidents for pie.”
Sarah Josepha Hale, the magazine editor who wrote "Mary Had a Little Lamb," spent about 17 years writing letters to presidents asking for a national Thanksgiving, until Abraham Lincoln proclaimed one in 1863.
Clara Barton T-shirt
“Retire? At 59 I was just getting started.”
Clara Barton nursed wounded soldiers on Civil War battlefields, earning the name "Angel of the Battlefield." At 59, she founded a national disaster-relief organization and led it for more than twenty years.
Wyatt Earp T-shirt
“Thirty seconds of fame. Fifty years of interviews.”
The famous 1881 gunfight in Arizona Territory lasted about thirty seconds. Wyatt Earp lived until 1929 and spent his later years telling the story to writers and early Western filmmakers.
First Black Woman Pilot T-shirt
“They said no. So I learned French.”
In the early 1920s, flight schools in the United States would not admit her, so she learned French, sailed to France and trained there. In 1921 she became the first Black woman to earn a pilot's license, and she went on to thrill crowds as a barnstorming aviator.
Louis Blériot T-shirt
“No compass. Just aim for England.”
On 25 July 1909 Louis Blériot became the first person to fly across the English Channel in a heavier-than-air aircraft, in his Blériot XI. He had no compass, lost sight of land for several minutes, and still reached Dover in about 36 minutes.
